Civic Clubs in the South

As I mentioned in a previous post, I ran into the wife of the pastor of the Presbyterian church I visited several weeks back, in the local coffee shop. At that time she invited me to the Junior Women's League in town. I thought it would be a nice way to meet some women in town, since, working from home, I don't have a lot of "built in" opportunities to meet local people like I would if I worked in an office here.

I have to admit, I have a little bit of a hesitation about civic women's clubs. I grew up in the South, and in the South, virtually any kind of "club" tends to be an exclusive club, where only club members have the right to invite other members. (Think "white only" country clubs, etc.) In other words, it's a grown-up version of that miserable high school experience of being in the "In" crowd -- or not.

Down South young upper class children are enrolled by their parents in Cotillion, which involves taking a number of classes to learn about proper table manners, and ends in a formal dinner and dance. Several of my more southern-bred friends were involved in the local Cotillion, and I think there's a lot to be said of teaching younger kids about etiquette. (I don't want my children acting like ogres in public, either!) But there was a strong connection to economic class associated with it. I never heard of inner city kids attending, and I knew our family was definitely not that southern, nor that rich.

It came, then, as a great shock to my mother, when my sister was invited to be a part of the Durham Debutante Ball. Whereas (and I'm not sure about this), I think anyone could enroll in cotillion, in order to be a debutante, you had to be invited by a person on the debutante committee. It's a bona fide "In" club of the richest, most connected people in town. My sister happened to be friends with the daughter of a woman on the board, thus her invitation. My mother was so opposed to being any part of this exclusive society that she offered my sister money to not be a part of it. (More specifically, she told my sister she would give her the money my sister would have spent, had she been a part of it.) I think my sister liked the idea of the ball itself... getting dressed up, learning to dance, etc.... so she insisted she would take part. At the end of the day, it was a very fun affair and I think we were all glad we had taken part. The event itself was fun. However, I can still see why my mom had a hard time with it.

So, coming from this kind of heritage, I was a little apprehensive about going to the meeting tonight. Mt. Vernon is a bit of an enigma to me. It's really right on the line between being culturally mid-western and culturally southern. Two folks can be born and bred here, and one talks with a southern drawl and another talks in the fast way folks from the North do. So I wasn't sure whether the "southern" rules applied to this club. I didn't really get a chance to get to know enough of the people tonight to answer that question, but I do know it was nice to get out of the house tonight and meet some ladies, whose faces I might see again around town.