Prayer

My current job has been one of the most demanding ones I've had yet. I have gone from a work-at-home job, where I was teetering on the edge of boredom, to having to work 50 to 60 hours a week. Furthermore, I never anticipating that getting used to the new corporate culture, and new job responsibilities, would take so much emotional energy out of me. Suddenly, the necessity of prayer has become immediately obvious. (Usually, my morning prayer starts off along the lines of, "Dear God, there's no way I could possibly get everything done today that I need to. Please help me!")

But beyond that, I'm learning about making prayer a priority. When I literally only have about 2 hours free out of my entire day, it takes a concerted effort to stop long enough each morning to sit down for an extended period of time (beyond just 2 or 3 minutes) of prayer. Don't get me wrong... "extended" might just mean 15 minutes. But that's about 13 minutes longer than I usually have spent in prayer. But I've noticed something: when I wake up feeling panicked about all I need to get done that day, after praying for a while, things get put in focus. For instance, focusing on God (and not what I have to do) reminds me that God is big enough to take care of any issues I'm going to face that day. I've also been reminded that my ultimate purpose in life is not to "get more done", but is higher than that. It's to love and serve God by loving and serving other people. Getting life in perspective like that means I don't need to stress so much about whether I'll get this or that done. And if something goes horribly wrong and I fall miserably on my face, that's okay, too, because ultimately my reason for being on the planet is not to look good or be successful every single time.

Another thing I've come to appreciate about spending time in prayer is that I can dedicate greater time to intercession. You know the great thing about praying for other people? It makes you feel more connected to them. When my friend tells me about something in their life, and then I pray for them on a regular basis, the next time I talk to them, I'll ask them how that particular area of their life is going. Rather than asking in an off-hand way, I find I'm more attuned to their answer; I really do care about the outcome of that situation, because I have been laboring in prayer for them. And when God responds on behalf of the person I'm praying for, I'm grateful that God has chosen to listen to my prayer.

Praying more has challenged my belief that God does indeed answer prayer. Yeah, I know, that sounds like a pretty fundamental problem. I mean, why pray if you don't think it's going to do any good? Yet I feel like I have prayed too often without the expectation that it will do any good; the prayer becomes more of a wish-list than a request. ("I wish it would be sunny today." "I hope it will be sunny today." But not, "God, please make it sunny today.") Because I have been disappointed so many times by what seemed like unfulfilled answers to prayer, I've become at times rather excessively Calvinistic in my outlook; I feel like, "God's sovereign and will do whatever He feels like anyhow, so why is anything I say or do going to make any difference?" James, the brother of Jesus, had something to say about that.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. - James 1:5-8

An encouragement to me along this path has been the book on Prayer by E. M. Bounds.A friend of mine gave me the book about a decade ago, and it has stayed on bookshelf all that time, remaining uncracked, until recetly. Although he wrote the book about 150 years ago, it's as relevent as ever. I've only gotten through the first of several "books" (groups of chapters) within the book, and so far, I've especially appreciated his quotes and stories from great preachers from the previous century. I'm looking forward to digging into the book more.