Aunt Ruth

On Monday, January 29, 2007, my Great Aunt Ruth passed away. I loved this woman dearly. My own grandmother became senile nearly a decade before her death, so in many ways, Aunt Ruth took on the role of Grandma for me in her last years.

I went to Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, which was across the street from Raybrook Manor, my grandmother's nursing home. Since I had grown up in North Carolina, I didn't have much of a relationship with either my aunt or my grandmother. It was not until my senior year of college that I forced myself to walk across the street twice a month to visit them. After all, it wasn't easy to try to form a relationship with someone you barely know, especially when that someone's mind is not all there, making for somewhat akward conversation at times. The more I visited my grandmother, though, the more I enjoyed and treasured those times with her. Looking back, I realize I was able to visit her at a critical point in time, before her memory went completely and conversation became impossible.

Since my visits with my grandma were done more out of a sense of duty, due to her memory loss, I would often walk to the other part of the nursing home, to the independent living section, where Aunt Ruth had a condo. These visits with Aunt Ruth (whose mind was very much intact, to the very end), were stimulating and fun.

My Aunt Ruth had an incredible constitution. Well into her 70's, she would swim for 2 miles every morning. Although she spent several decades in a retirement home, she still seemed to know what was relevant to a 20-something recent college grad. She would take continuing education classes at Calvin across the way, and listen to lectures from the college that were broadcast in the nursing home. I always knew I could count on her to get a good book review, whether the book was some serious theological book, or just some fanciful read. She always showed a keen interest in whatever was going on in my life at the time.

Her son, my cousin David Hoekema, put together a memoir of her life that she worked on with him before her death. I have enjoyed reading about her life. It's neat to get a glimpse of what life was like decades ago, and it's fun to get the background of some of the stories she had related to me during her lifetime. It's entertaining to read stories about her kids, whether it was her daughter deciding to walk with her daddy up the aisle during his ThD graduation ceremony, or her son making his friend burst out in tears by telling him that George Washington was dead. These are the small moments of life that become family jokes for years.

I miss being able to stop in on Aunt Ruth and have a cup of coffee with her. I hope that I'm able to have the impact on a younger generation the way she was able to impact me.