Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

My mother-in-law, who is retired, often gives me books to read that she's read in one of her reading clubs. Earlier this year she passed on to me a book by Lisa See called "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan".

The book is set in 19th century China and tells the story of two girls united in a close, life-long bond. In a society where women were seen as completely servile to men and useless other than in their capacity to bear sons to their husbands, these two girls had almost an emotional marriage to one another that goes beyond the typical BFF.

The book paints a very vivid picture of how difficult life was for women in that society, starting with the breaking of their feet when they were just girls in order to create the hobbled little gait that was considered desirable by men. It talks about how women were required to follow the culture and customs of their people, which included the harsh domination of households first by men and then by the matriarchal mothers-in-law.

In this harsh climate where women were seen as less than nothing, having a trusted girlfriend was seen as a relief valve, a way of having a truly intimate relationship with another person who was not a position of wielding authority of one (like a husband or mother-in-law did), or was seen as a rival (as with the other concubines or sisters-in-laws who lived in the house).

I felt like the book, unlike many other bestsellers (unfortunately), actually had literary value. It was a written in a very vivid and detailed way, so that you felt like you were really learning about life in a vastly different culture. My mother-in-law loves learning about other ways of life, and is really big on "girl power" type stuff.

That all being said, this was one of the most downers of a book I've ever read. It was phenomenally bad timing on my part, too, to read this book. Here I am with a brand new baby girl, and I'm reading about how awful the lives of girls are and how they were happy when they miscarried girls because girls just took up food and other resources and were just a waste of space, generally. I almost put the book down after the first couple chapters because I didn't like reading about how they broke the girls' feet, but I thought, "Gee, it might get better." It was a depressing book from beginning to end. Was the book educational? Yes. Do I regret filling my mind with the sadness and injustice of that era every night for several months before I nodded off to sleep? Yes. Do I recommend it to others? If you're the kind of person that likes to watch heartbreaking dramas on TV, then you might enjoy this. If you're like me, and feel like life is full enough of drama as it is and would rather watch a comedy or read a mystery novel, then this book is definitely not for you.